Saturday, March 13, 2010

Pattern of Three

I 'v e been in this pattern of three weeks, where I am vibrating with this amazingly clear energy and I am spot on with my intuition. Not long after I fall back into a lower vibration where I start to feel under fire and that I am not supported by the universe. Awe insights, just after I wrote this sentence I realized I am working on having my life work all the time, not just some of the time. I once was asked this question in a group setting "Are you willing to have you life work all the time, every day?" I remember my soul saying yes and my mind saying wow that could be a lot of work. I 've learned that to have the life we are meant to have full of goodness means we need to let go of the lack, limitations, fear, anger and any other negative emotion that is poison. Now mind you I know this is not easy. But if we choose and commit to this process the unfolding of our true nature is revealed and what a gift that is.

It seems the more I forgive myself and others I have truly made room for my good. My poison feels like a block of grey lead sitting on my heart. Once forgiven it starts melting into liquid and evaporates, which makes room for light to lovingly enter my heart. Having my heart open is a challenge for me because it wants to close right back up for fear of being hurt again. It is this that I have been healing for a while now. I have noticed though if I choose to do something creative my heart starts humming with goodness. For this I am so grateful! So I hope and pray that the world can find its goodness and heal.


Thursday, March 4, 2010

One Rose Pedal At A Time

I am drifting in between two worlds these days. It seems the more I give in to my soul's craving to meditate and pray the more my souls true nature reveals itself to me. Its like a rose that is starting to bloom one pedal at a time. For each petal that reveals itself, there is a truth that speaks to me from deep with in. My heart is open and weepy. I find myself feeling the emotions of the world, settling into its vibration. I am not sure where this will lead me, I just know that it feels right. It feels right to be open and to let my heart heal. Its a deep spiritual healing that humbles me. It brings tears to my eyes every time I am hit with a realization of my truth and my place in the world.

So with that comes the knowing that I need to forgive myself to make more room for the light to shine on my heart. I've been working on forgiving myself for having expectations of myself. Ones that I would never meet simply based on circumstance. I am angry for having these expectations, I feel like I have wasted so many years. I could be further along, I could have been happier in the early years. But truly what good does it do to hold on to the anger. I am just prolonging the expectation. Its time to let it melt away into the nothingness that it really is and allow the heart to heal.

So I say sweet felt thank you to the universe for gift of healing ones heart.