I am drifting in between two worlds these days. It seems the more I give in to my soul's craving to meditate and pray the more my souls true nature reveals itself to me. Its like a rose that is starting to bloom one pedal at a time. For each petal that reveals itself, there is a truth that speaks to me from deep with in. My heart is open and weepy. I find myself feeling the emotions of the world, settling into its vibration. I am not sure where this will lead me, I just know that it feels right. It feels right to be open and to let my heart heal. Its a deep spiritual healing that humbles me. It brings tears to my eyes every time I am hit with a realization of my truth and my place in the world.
So with that comes the knowing that I need to forgive myself to make more room for the light to shine on my heart. I've been working on forgiving myself for having expectations of myself. Ones that I would never meet simply based on circumstance. I am angry for having these expectations, I feel like I have wasted so many years. I could be further along, I could have been happier in the early years. But truly what good does it do to hold on to the anger. I am just prolonging the expectation. Its time to let it melt away into the nothingness that it really is and allow the heart to heal.
So I say sweet felt thank you to the universe for gift of healing ones heart.