I forget things, I seem to be really good at that until my body reminds me I feel a certain way deep inside. I committed to doing hot yoga twice a week. It's the one way I feel I can get in a good work out but also give myself the space to reconnect with my body. When we make the conscious effort to be in our body we must also feel what our body is feeling. Anger seems to be the word of choice to describe how I feel when digging deep into my soul right in the middle of a room that is over 100 degrees.
I am not happy about feeling so angry but I know it is something I must face. The truth is I am afraid of my anger, I am afraid to know the truth behind it. Who am I really that angry with? I can admit I am angry with myself but to admit I am angry with God for taking my birth mother seems crazy for a person who has such a deep spiritual belief. I mourn my mother now more than ever, since having my own beautiful daughter. So I do what I know how to do and say, "I forgive you God" from my heart and then that same heart turns around and says, "Thank you God for the gift of life."
- ▼ 2010 (25)